Grief in Daunting Times. How to Deal with Grief?
Loss is unavoidable, and the grieving process is unique to each person. Helping each other through this isn't one-size-fits-all — recognising the distinctiveness of each person's loss and grief allows for tailored, compassionate support.
The last few years have been overwhelming for most of us. Many people have witnessed daunting and frightening experiences amid global catastrophe.
People grieve from many things — the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of a career, the death of a pet, the loss of a prized possession.
Most of us will experience intense sorrow at some point. Grief is the person we never wanted to meet. The class we didn't sign up for. The club we never wanted to join. The journey we never wanted to take.
"I Don't Know What to Say"
We often wonder what to say or do for someone grieving — because nobody taught us. There are no perfect phrases. Words and gestures can comfort — but they can also hurt and create distance.
What You Can Say to Someone Who Is Grieving
They may find their own silver linings, sense, and meaning in the loss. That's normal and constructive. Follow their lead. Be there if they need support.
What comforts one may put another off. Some find religious texts comforting; others need silence and solitude. Gauge what they need — and provide your support in that form.
You might think silence isn't enough. But by listening, you allow them to process shock, anger, and guilt.
A grieving person rarely has the energy to call. Don't say, "Let me know if you need anything." Try, "I'm going to the market this afternoon — what can I bring you?"
Give them space to feel whatever they feel. You may want them to move on, but you can't rush it. Let them recover at their own pace, in their own way.
What You Should Not Say
It overlooks or minimises their pain. It pushes them to focus on abstract positives — which rarely helps.
You don't. And even if you did, it isn't what they need to hear. No two people are the same. No two losses are the same.
Some people take comfort here — but right after loss is rarely the right moment.
Realistically, it might. But in deep grief, they just want their pain acknowledged.
There is no right way to grieve. They need support — not judgement for crying.
Conclusion
Grief is one of the worst pains a person can endure. Comforting someone in it isn't always easy — but any form of support means a lot. Keep these tips in mind. With time, with loved ones, and with the right professional support — they can feel better.
Hiral Sangoi
A clinical psychologist with a cup of cold coffee and a thriller book in hand.