Virtually Walk the Journey of Grief in Uncertain Times
Loss may be overwhelming, but there are helpful ways to deal with grief, the pain, coming to terms with loss, and finally picking up the pieces and moving on with your life.
Lately, the world seems to be sliding from one tragedy to the next, be it global pandemic or some personal trauma. From witnessing a global pandemic, economic instability, political and social chaos to a few natural disasters. Many people are grieving differently amidst the dark hole of loss.
An Everyday Term: Grief
Since childhood, we have associated the word ‘grief’ with death/loss of someone. However, grief can also be caused due to being unable to help a loved one, deteriorating health, loss of job or unemployment, or other lifestyle changes.
Moving From One Stage of Grief to Another
Understanding the stages of grief, with the help of the current health crisis, is a first step forward in the healing journey. People grieve differently, and it is not necessary that each stage would be completely applicable to you.
· Denial, which sets early on: This virus won’t affect us. · Anger: You are forcing me to sit at home and restricting my hobbies. · Bargaining: Okay, if I social distance for two weeks everything will be better, right? · Sadness: I am not sure when this will come to an end. · Acceptance. This is happening; I have to figure out how to proceed. I can wash my hands. I can keep a safe distance. I can learn how to work virtually.
Acceptance is where the power lies as we can find control in acceptance.
These stages are not linear and may not take place in this order. But it does provide some scaffolding for this unknown world to help better understand and process emotions.
What Can You Do Right Now to Help Yourself With Grief?
To deal with different stages of grief and its associated array of thoughts and emotions, we have chimed in a few tips that can help.
Although avoiding grief may seem to be the best option, the pain will finally catch up with you, and you will need to face and feel it. Find ways to express yourself as you are grieving. Some people use painting, gardening, writing, talking to friends or relatives, cooking, music, or other activities to express their sorrow and find comfort.
Given the times of COVID-19, it’s natural that many of us experience survivor’s guilt. Self-guilt is caused due to a belief in doing something wrong by surviving a traumatic or tragic event when others did not.
However, it should not control and direct your decisions moving forward. In other words, you must encourage yourself to experience joy and fulfillment in your life once more. That might take some time. Simply strive and do not stop yourself from experiencing and savoring good feelings.
When you go through the array of emotions that come with loss, be kind to yourself. There will be times when you might think if you will ever feel normal again. Allow yourself to be present in those moments and trust that you will recover. It will occur, but it will take time. Be easy on yourself.
Even if you like and want to be independent and self-sufficient, now is the time to rely on the people who care for you. Rather than ignoring them, draw close to friends and family, spend time with them, and embrace the help that is offered.
If you are facing problems to cope with your loss, you can find a mental health professional with experience in grief counseling. The therapist can help you work through intense emotions and overcome obstacles to your grieving.
Conclusion
Grief is like a journey we never wanted to take. But still, grief can become our life’s most impactful teachers. Although temporary, you may feel numerous emotions at the same time.
It’s important to keep in mind that everyone grieves in their own way, and there’s no right way or timeline to grieve.
How are you grieving in the ‘New Normal’?
*Related reading: Grief in Daunting Times: How to Deal with Grief*
Janvi Parekh
A clinical psychologist hooked to scrolling memes, having talent in tuning overthinking into writing.